Change Your Identity

For years I would think about who I wanted to be, how I wanted to live, and the habits that I would have. I had the dream but I was lacking what I thought was motivation. The truth I found is that you have to evolve into your new self to meet your goals, which are really your new standards. When I heard this it just clicked into my mind. We rarely have to think about motivation when behaving in a way that matches our standard. We all have standards in our lives that we meet daily without much thought or effort. Most people have the standard of getting up and brushing their teeth. We have been doing this since children and having a minty fresh mouth in the morning is not the motivator that gets us up and brushing without a thought. It’s the combination of habit and identity that makes the action seem like an effortless no-brainer. This is explains how our automatic actions create an overall definition of our identity.

If we want to change our habits or behaviors for the long-term we must first change who we believe ourselves to be. When creating a new identity we are subsequently creating new standards in which this new identity naturally seeks to meet.

Example: Someone who is identifies as an athlete will more easily choose foods to fuel their bodies and complete their workouts because that is their standard.

I used to say to myself: “I am going to eat healthy tomorrow. I am going to try to get up at four in the morning to study. I am going to try to workout.”

I would struggle to meet these goals and continually think about how different they were from my normal life and therefore were unsustainable. They required way too much thought, motivation, and willpower. I started to meet these new standards when I began to think, feel, and be the person who no longer sees these actions as “goals” and instead considers them just a part of my standard life to meet my identity.

To put this into practice I wrote this on a post-it note where I looked the moment I woke up everyday:

“I rise early. I am an athlete and push my body. I nourish my body as the athlete I am. I finish the tasks I need to complete to stay ahead in school.”

Adopting this new mentality made my decisions so much easier to come. It felt almost effortless. Thinking of my actions I now thought, “Of course I am up at four. Of course I am going to the gym. Of course I am going to focus today.”

I want to note that these standards may seem so far out of reach to change in one day but for me I was already someone who woke up around 6 a.m. naturally, enjoyed moving my body, and was a dedicated medical student. I had the desire to better my habits and take them to the next level. When making your standards feel free to dream as big as you would like. I do recommend with starting out with something that feels do-able to you. Start off as small as you would like and tailor it closer and closer to the way you would like to live. If you are a night owl and the thought of rising before 9 a.m. sounds like torture to you, maybe don’t commit to becoming a 4 a.m. riser. The struggle starts when you are trying to live as someone who acts in a way that does not sound intriguing to you. That is a battle you will always lose. This is the very reason why extreme dieting does not work long term. If you do not want to live as a person who eats two shakes per day and one meal of chicken with vegetables, you will never experience the side effects of that in the long run. That is why it is important to select the person you want to be and maintain throughout years. The person you desire to become should sound extremely intriguing to you. If it does not, then select something that aligns more closely to your inner ambitions. Choose who you wish to be despite the thoughts or opinions of others.

This became a vital part of my success of living in my lean body without stresses or fears surrounding diet. I became the type of person who follows my desires in regards to food and had no restrictions. I am the girl who loves to go on a run at the beach and the get a poke bowl with lots of avocado and rice. I love to cook myself eggs with veggies most mornings and sometimes make myself a pancake on the side if I am in the mood. I am the kind of person who enjoys trying new recipes with fresh and seasonal vegetables that I find at the market. I am the girl that loves having a night on the couch watching Harry Potter, eating In-N-Out, and baking cookies. I always dreamed of eating anything that I wanted and enjoying exercise everyday. That girl is who I always wanted to be and who I now am. In the past I would have a food craving and fight tooth and nail against it feeling defeated I even wanted it. Now it is easy for me have the idea spark of getting heavy fast food or sugar in the afternoon but deciding that I would rather have it after my gym session so I can keep up my energy. It became effortless for me to think this way because it is who I am.

The most effort that this process takes is remembering your identity and sticking to it. I promise you that if you stay open minded to trying this method you will feel happier, more steady, and impressed with all you will achieve.

Now, if you feel this may be a “challenge” to you or are struggling with the fear of failure and commitment I want to explain something I heard on Jim Fortin’s podcast (linked below). On the episode he explained that a coach once said, “You’re always committed to something, it is your choice.” What he meant by this is that your actions honor your commitments whether they feel effortless or not. If you are someone who enjoys laying on the couch for 3 hours everyday watching TV, you have a commitment to being a couch potato and you honor that. It is easy for you to complete that action because you are honoring who you believe to be. It is up to you to decide which commitments you are seeking to honor. This is why it is so important for you to decide to embody the identity of someone who you desire to become. By changing your identity you are working smarter not harder to become whoever it is you wish to be.